I love this illustration. It says so much about us, so much more than we would admit to ourselves, yet somehow, when we look at it, it makes us feel a little more comfortable, like we are not alone in our feelings. The beautiful thing about this illustration (well it’s a postcard actually) is that it is entirely genuine. It is not meant as a motivational tool, or as a publicity stunt. It is not selling a brand and it is not making a point. It is not accusational, nor self righteous. It comes from a captivating array of truths on the site PostSecret.com . The simple premise behind the site is that if you have something you want to get off your chest, you can post it on a postcard, anonymously, for it to appear on the site. It has been so successful that they have even published a book (To get a copy of the book look here (aff)).

Yet this post is not a review nor a discussion. It is an admission of my pain at the same feelings. I went for an interesting drink with a colleague from work today. He knew of my plans to leave my job and go it “alone” to try and make my living without a “job”. I want to know what I am capable of, and he helped encapsulate a feeling of the persona that is driving this desire. He said:

“I can liken it to dice. Our whole lives we walk around with our fists clamped tightly around some die; being too scared to see what happens. What you are doing is casting you die to see what could come up”.

It’s true. Whilst I don’t believe in gambling (that’s another post waiting to happen) I do have that feeling that until you risk it all, you cannot know what you are capable of.

So if you feel like this illustration, maybe it’s time you cast your die. Time moves on rapidly (I’ll be 25 tomorrow) and it’s all too easy to feel safe with what you’ve got, not every daring to cast your die.

So consider me this. How will you feel, what answer will you give to yourself, if you leave it too late (and in my head the only “too late” is on your passing bed) with your die uncast. You could have had a pair of sixes clutched in your fist. Admittedly you could have had a pair of ones, but the beauty is, the earlier you roll you die, the more chances you get to roll again.

Well it would seem that many others have found the Apple jibe at Microsoft pretty rude and out of key.

Glad it wasn't just me then!

Ok, so I kept schtum about this all week, (well at least to the blog, but James (Apple fantatic) got a real ear bashing, (which in turn is nice as I’m always on the end of his exhaustive M$ (This is an abbreviation for Microsoft for all non geeko’s) bashing.)).
To summarise the situation; Apple is found to have released a number of 5th generation apple Ipods…. Complete with a version of RavMon.exe installed. Now, sending out a consumer product preinstalled with a virus that attacks your rival’s operating system is pretty bad (though Apple adamantly deny that there were any sneaky tactics going on here) but it wasn’t this that got my back up. What really bit me? Well it was the public statement issued by Apple over the incident:

“….The iPod nano, iPod shuffle and Mac OS X are not affected, and all Video iPods now shipping are virus free. As you might imagine, we are upset at Windows for not being more hardy against such viruses, and even more upset with ourselves for not catching it.“

Yes, that’s exactly what they said. They did just use a public apology to take a pop at their rivals. In fact, in the sentence before the actual “we screwed up” clause is the one they use to highlight inadequacies in their rival’s system. Whilst I could sit here all day and banter back and fourth as to “is Windows virus resilient”, “is it fair to judge it against other Oss that have fewer attacks against them” etc etc, but that’s not the point. The point here is that Apple F%*ked up and needed to say sorry. They often spend more time putting down their competitor than promoting themselves and this was not the time or the place. All they had to do was put their necks out and say “sorry everyone we screwed up”. Yes the virus came from a Windows machine, but we didn’t run adequate virus protection and we messed up. Sorry.” Except they couldn’t. They couldn’t take 100% responsibility for their actions and say sorry for them. They use it as an opportunity to pop at M$ again.

Apple, I used to have a lot of respect for you, but this little snide pop was rude, inappropriate and lost me a lot of respect for you. Why I am I so wound up by this? It angered me right to the “core”. (groan)

I was chatting briefly to a friend of mine this evening, shortly before I had to go out. When asked where I was going, I told him that I was going to the "Ferrari Garage" as I often do. It has been a ritual of mine for many years that when I am struggling with my motivation, or I am feeling a little bit lost, I go and look at Ferraris. As you will know by my Ferrari Challenge I am looking to buy one in October (2007), but this is something I have done for a long time. It was easier whilst at uni as I lived next to a garage, these days I have to drive for half an hour to get there.

Anyhow, he didn't quite get my point of view, so "Well you have to have goals" I furthered to him. "Yes, but I don't have to go and look at cars to achieve mine" he quite understandably replied. To this, I explained how it helped get me through the tough times. "Freak" was his conclusion.

It got me thinking. I realise that my methods are a little unorthodox. My girlfriend commented that my bedroom made me look like a "bit of a physcho" (maybe because I write quotes that inspire me in permanent marker on the walls - I will decorate sometime soon!). I know I may be a little of key, but then don't you have to be to make a difference? How many amazing things were done using ordinary methods? If you muddle through your 9 to 5 and dream a few dreams, play by the rules and do the expected, how do you think you fair in your quest to do something special... something out of the ordinary? This is me breaking free in the best way I know how.

Besides, credit where credit's due. Much of my craziness is encouraged by quotes as inspiring as the following:

Ordinary Actions = Ordinary Results

. A big thanks to Ramit for that one.